Hello! My name is John. This is my blog.

As long as I can remember I’ve wanted to be a writer. Very little brings me more joy than writing the weird things I write, and I hope someone enjoys what I have to say.

A bit more about me:

I was in Theater from Elementary School through High School. In that time I played such beloved roles as:
Half A Tree
A Bongo Player
A Lint Roller
A Blacksmith with an Elephant
An Elephant
A Cheese Grater
An Oddly Well-Choreographed Wolf
An Old Woman
And many irritable middle-aged men

I spent three years of my childhood with Kleenex stuck in my ears; I was really bored in Kindergarten one day and I wanted to clean my ears but didn’t have any cue tips, so I used Kleenex instead and then forgot about it

I graduated High School with a D- in Math Topics

I am allergic to horses

I have seen the movie Kangaroo Jack more than any of the people who helped make the movie Kangaroo Jack

Those are some things about me. I hope you enjoy this weird thing I’m doing.