Full spoilers for the sixth movie in a franchise that’s now 11 or 13 movies old, depending if you count Rob Zombie. I’ve only seen Halloween VI, and as far as I can tell this story is fully inconsequential to the overall narrative, as are the vast majority of them in general.

Halloween VI: The Curse of Michael Myers(1995) stars Paul Rudd, Marianne Hagan, Donald Pleasence, Mitchell Ryan, Kim Darby, Bradford English, Keith Bogart, and other people probably. It was directed by Joe Chappelle and Daniel Farrands.

I actually watched this with my friend Josie back when I started this blog, and accidentally deleted the notes, thinking I’d already posted a Ruddtrospective on this. Thanks to document history I was able to recover what I’d written. Mostly. I think at one point I just stopped writing. I didn’t much remember what the plot of this was, nor was I able to decipher it when I watched it because honestly I don’t care. Here’s the basics from Wikipedia:

Six years after the previous film, Michael Myers and his niece Jamie Lloyd have been abducted by the Man in Black and his Druid-like cult. On Halloween Eve, fifteen-year-old Jamie gives birth and escapes with her baby in a stolen pickup truck with Michael in pursuit. Dr. Loomis overhears Jamie’s plea for help on a local radio station. Michael catches up with Jamie and kills her, only to find that she has hidden her child elsewhere. In Haddonfield, the old Myers house is now owned by relatives of Laurie Strode’s adoptive family: John and Debra Strode, their adult children Kara and Tim, and Kara’s six-year-old son Danny, who is tormented by visions of the Man in Black telling him to commit murder.
Tommy Doyle, the boy Laurie babysat in 1978, lives across the street, now a recluse obsessed with finding the truth behind Michael’s motives. He tracks Jamie’s call for help down to a bus station and finds the baby, whom he names Steven. After running into Loomis and telling him about the Strodes, Tommy gets Kara and Danny and takes them to the boarding house. He believes Michael is under the influence of Thorn, an ancient Druid curse that drives a person to kill their family on Halloween. He mentions that Steven will be Michael’s final sacrifice before leaving to meet up with Loomis. Meanwhile, Michael returns to his childhood killing Debra, John, Tim, and his girlfriend Beth.
The Man in Black beckons Danny to the Myers house. Kara discovers Tim and Beth dead, she rescues Danny as Michael follows them, upon returning to the boarding house, the Man in Black is revealed to be Dr. Wynn, Loomis’s friend. Cult members burst in and, with the help of Mrs. Blankenship, abduct Kara, Danny, and Steven and take them to Smith’s Grove.
Kara is locked in a maximum-security ward while the boys are kept in an operating room. Tommy and Loomis go to the sanitarium where Loomis confronts Wynn, who insinuates that the Smith’s Grove staff have been studying pure evil to learn how to control it. Steven is implied to be the successful result of in vitro fertilization to clone Michael’s DNA. (Ew) Wynn wants Loomis to join him, as he was the first to see the power inside Michael. Loomis refuses and is knocked out by a doctor.
Meanwhile, Tommy frees Kara as Michael pursues them through the sanitarium. They watch as Wynn and his team prepare for a surgical procedure before Michael suddenly appears and turns against the cult, killing them all. Tommy and Kara rescue the kids as Michael chases them into a laboratory containing fetuses from Wynn’s failed experiments. Tommy injects Michael with corrosive liquid and beats him unconscious with a lead pipe. Tommy, Kara, and the children leave Smith’s Grove while Loomis stays behind to take care of some business. Inside, Michael’s mask lies alone on the lab floor as Loomis screams in the background, leaving their fates unknown.

• A woman seems to be giving birth in front of a guy wearing a cloak.
• Oh, there’s a cult thing going on.
• There’s a man wearing a hat.
• The woman is strapped in and her baby has been stolen from her.
• “STARRING AND INTRODUCING PAUL STEPHEN RUDD”
• They wrote a P on the baby’s chest in blood. I wonder if his name is Phineas.
• So apparently Michael Myers’ sister was abducted by a cult.
• There is now eerie music playing that is meant to be serious but sounds a lot like the Ferris Bueller soundtrack.
• Michael Myers just killed a woman using a conveniently placed spike on the wall.
• There’s a hairy bearded man in a tarp.
• He’s definitely going to die.
• I was right, he is dead.
• The mother has escaped with the baby in a truck. She is not using a car seat. That is unsafe.
• The man with a hat has a knife. He might be Michael Myers, but I don’t think Michael Myers wears hats.
• There’s a crazy woman on the radio who wants to fuck Michael Myers.
• The radio guy is being a dick.
• Paul Rudd has arrived. He is watching Kara change.
• Oh no, Paul Rudd is a creepy weirdo. And not a very good actor.
• There’s an old man who appears to be from the first movie. He is very insane and likes talking to radios.
• The mom is back. She doesn’t know how to run with a baby.
• Apparently everyone in this movie listens to the same radio station and everyone enjoys calling in just to be insulted by a man named Barry Sims.
• As my friend just pointed out, nobody in a horror movie seems capable of replacing light bulbs.
• [DISTANT CREAKING]
• The woman is at a farm. She has just been killed by Michael Myers on yet another conveniently placed spike.
• The baby has escaped. 
• A man in a robe cut down a sign for no reason.
• Danny is a psycho.
• The people living in Jamie Lee Curtis’ house are insane.
• Paul Rudd is a very creepy man but he’s wearing a nice red sweater.
• This may be his first movie but he’s already mastered the astonished turn.
• Baby’s in the cupboard.
• The P is Myers’ mark?
• Kara’s mom is probably going to die. That’s okay though because her haircut sucks. And she also made the mistake of going into a basement in a horror movie. 
• There’s an old woman with eyes that look like little black beads.
• The hat man has returned.
• Apparently Myers is being told to kill people by a cult. Or he isn’t, but there is a cult?
• The radio guy is the hat man!!!
• [SQUELCHING]
• This is a movie where it feels like nothing happens even though a lot of things happen. I’m adding to this review a while after I first watched it, and I can’t tell you how the movie ends or when I actually saw it in the first place.
• As I look at the things I wrote, I feel confused and bemused. I’m scrolling through the film, trying to remember bits and pieces. It’ll be an interesting game for whoever reads this to try and decipher what’s actually going on here. Originally I was going to rewatch the film, but with these notes I mostly don’t need to.
• There are really weird slo-mo repetitive cuts when Michael kills people that, as someone who’s started editing short films for class, tells me they didn’t have the footage they wanted. Paul Rudd, in his first cinematic go, is not a very good actor. Though he’s also pretty good. It’s not as if he’s given many chances to show his talents. He mostly acts creepy and then scared.
• This is the only Halloween movie I’ve seen, but I know some things about the shifting lore of these movies. I thought Laurie Strode might be dead at this point. Also he was still Laurie’s brother or something back then, and later they retconned it so he was just a guy. Tommy Doyle does show up again in later movies, most recently played by Anthony Michael Hall because Paul was busy. Way to dodge a bullet, Paul.
• Anyway, that’s that. I vaguely scrolled through enough to remember what was up. It’s a bad movie. But I don’t have to cover it now, no more.

Happy spooky season! Hope you enjoyed the very vague review!

Overall Rating: 1.5/10(Eh. Sorry I half-assed this one, but really you should blame 2021 John for not being more clear.)
Rudd Rating: 3/10(He’s better in that Nintendo ad he got his start in.)

Next time, a hopefully better movie. What do drugs, autumn, Tobey Maguire, Michael Caine, and the war have to do with Paul Stephen Rudd? You’ll have to wait and see!