It’s been a while, but we’ve got another big year for Marvel in store. And you know the deal. No spoilers, then spoilers! Captain America flies again, and I’m here to talk about it! Yay!!!

Captain America: Brave New World stars Anthony Mackie, Danny Ramirez, Carl Lumbly, Harrison Ford, Liv Tyler, Shira Haas, Tim Blake Nelson, Giancarlo Esposito, Rosa Salazar, and Jóhannes Haukur Jóhannesson. It was directed by Julius Onah and written by Julius Onah, Rob Edwards, Peter Glanz, Dalan Musson, and Malcolm Spellman.

How Did We Get Here? –
So. This movie is kind of a mess. I believe they changed the Director a couple times, but I can’t find proof of that. The one they settled on is kind of a work for hire guy who directed The Cloverfield Paradox, a movie I haven’t seen but I’ve heard it’s bad. A lot was added to this in reshoots. Things were cut out, major plot points were reworked. I’ll get into what that means for the film as a whole.
But while this is not a great movie, it’s not “another example of why Marvel should stop”. It’s another example of why Marvel is trying to do too much and they’re going back to basics a bit in a way that I think will work.

Quick Plot Rundown –
There’s a new President in the White House. His name is Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross. He seems a lot different from the last time we saw him because last time he was William Hurt acting like a pompous anti-hero blowhard and now he’s Harrison Ford, just being a skinny tired 82 year old man. There’s also a new Captain America. He’s still wondering if he deserves to be Captain America, even though we spent a whole TV show establishing that he’s earned it. Also suddenly he wishes he had a super soldier serum even though he didn’t hesitate in said show to say he didn’t need it. America is on the brink of a vague war with Japan because there’s a frozen Celestial in the Earth full of Adamantium. And there’s a mysterious villain crafting a conspiracy because he hates the President for… reasons.

General Non-Spoilery Thoughts –
I don’t want to say this, but it’s not great. I really like most of the actors in this movie, and none of them are why this movie doesn’t work. It doesn’t work because of behind the scene issues and the fact that combining a weak non-political plot about a psycho President at this particular time with a weak story that doesn’t properly utilize the narrative implications of a black Captain America and loose plot threads from The Incredible Hulk does not a strong movie make. Anthony Mackie didn’t need his first story out the bat to be a watered down Winter Soldier and nobody was asking for a Captain America movie that sequelized a nearly 20 year old Hulk movie that’s barely in the MCU. But it’s fine. It looks a bit better than Quantumania or The Marvels. I’m just hoping Thunderbolts* and The Fantastic Four: First Steps are great and shut people up about Marvel being done.

Characters –
Sam Wilson AKA Captain America – Anthony Mackie
Hmmm. He’s fun. I like him. I’ve always liked him. He suffers in this because the movie is tonally trying to be three different things at once. You can’t have a triumphant superhero movie, a mysterious espionage film, and bits of buddy comedy all in one. There’s a great moment in this where Anthony Mackie surfs on a missile, but it doesn’t fit with the rest of this at all.

Joaquín Torres AKA Falcon – Danny Ramirez
Kind of annoying. The comic book character is completely different, and his character is much more tied in to his heritage and his family than… military dude. I think the actor is charismatic enough, but his character does not shut up. And I prefer when Sam is needling at Bucky and Bucky is the straight man. So, I don’t know. I don’t think we needed the second Falcon in this. It’s just another guy with wings. He’s not even a vampire. I’ll explain later.

President Thunderbolt Ross AKA Red Hulk – Harrison Ford
I love Harrison Ford. He’s a great actor. He’s got gravitas and charisma out the wazoo. There have been behind the scenes reports that he was a diva on set, hard to work with, and did not enjoy this. I can understand that, because it’s not a great script, he had to wear a mocap suit, and honestly, he wasn’t very good in this. It’s a bummer. Part of it is the age I think. He feels so frail and ancient. If you want to see him play to that and show what a great actor he still is, watch Shrinking. Or Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, which isn’t a bad movie and he’s good in it. Don’t watch this.
He’s supposed to be an old cynical general who’s trying to be better and trying to hide his bubbling rage and pomposity. This all comes across, mainly because the characters tell you all of this. His performance is just kind of neutral. I don’t think he knew what he was meant to do with it. The scenes where he gets really angry and acts like he’s losing it are good, but they come out of nowhere. He is also virtually an entirely different character. You couldn’t see William Hurt’s Ross becoming President, he was too abrasive. But less in a loud way, more in a slimy asshole way. Really this movie acts like the movie Ross was comic accurate from the jump. I additionally find it baffling that they saw that William Hurt, a 71 year old man, passed away, and replaced him with Harrison Ford, an 82 year old man. There’s a scene where he’s on a warship and it made me think of the submarine scenes in Raiders. Boy that man is old old old.
My favorite moments of him in the movie have very little to do with his performance.
1. I noticed that the back of his neck looks much like the wrinkly folds of a hairy butt crack.
2. He’s doing cardio on a little elliptical bike on Air Force One.
3. When he turns back from Red Hulk (The fight scene is alright, just not super memorable) he’s suddenly just the skinniest most confused old man you’ve ever seen, and I laughed a bit too much.
I know I should move on, but… he was old in 2008 when he did Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. He was old in 2015 when he did Force Awakens. But now he’s really really old. And I love that weird pothead who loves Ally McBeal and crashes planes, but every time I see modern old him, part of me gets really sad. He’s been a cinematic titan my whole life. He won’t be around much longer.

Betty Ross – Liv Tyler
I shouldn’t even include her in this rundown. She’s not in this movie except for one three second scene where I’m sure she was somewhere far away from her scene partner. I’m sure she got like a million dollars out of showing up for what I assume was meant to be a bigger role.

Ruth Bat-Seraph AKA Sabra – Shira Haas
I wasn’t a fan at first, her line reading threw me. It felt stilted and like she wasn’t used to acting in English. She grew on me somewhat over time. But her character’s inclusion is emblematic of the broad issue with this film. It is a movie centered around an inherently political plotline that is so desperately avoiding saying anything about politics at all. Sabra in the comics is a member of the Israeli secret service. In this movie there is one mention of her being from Israel and that’s the extent of it. So. Cowardly.

Isaiah Bradley – Carl Lumbly
The treatment of this character in this movie depressed the fuck out of me. For context if you didn’t watch The Falcon and the Winter Soldier and you aren’t aware of this character, Isaiah Bradley was the first African American Captain America. He gained his powers through a comic book allegory of the “Tuskegee Syphilis Study” in which 400 African American men were used as a study group for the effect of Syphilis in the African American community. This occurred over a forty year period between 1932 and 1972. Look into it, it’s awful. Isaiah Bradley received his serum in this variety of experiment, was used as a covert operative during the Korean War, and defied orders to rescue his fellow soldiers when they were captured, like Steve Rogers did. Except Isaiah was imprisoned and experimented on for thirty years.
In this movie, Sam convinces Isaiah to join him for a night out at the White House, which leads to Isaiah being used as a sleeper agent to shoot at the President, and he is immediately imprisoned again. This poor man. Everything I have to say about his plotline will continue in spoilers, but I have to say, there was absolutely no reason for him to end up back in prison. Nothing new is being said that wasn’t said during his initial inclusion, at this point they’re just kicking a man while he’s down and humiliating him. Also the man who was controlling him didn’t even have to use him for his schemes. He could have just stuck with the random dudes who also shot at the President and I think he still would have gotten Sam involved. I just… ugh. Leave Isaiah alone. Dude’s done nothing wrong.

Samuel Sterns AKA The Leader – Tim Blake Nelson
Tim Blake Nelson is a great actor. I’m a big fan of his work. I was really looking forward to seeing him play the Hulk’s most intelligent villain. The result is thoroughly underwhelming. He’s just a gross looking dude who can mind control people and use probabilities to figure out how to control people and scheme away. It’s also a bad use of Nelson as an actor. So. That’s that.

Sidewinder – Giancarlo Esposito
It’s worth saying that everyone in this cast has been in a worse movie. This is not a terrible movie. It’s merely boring. So kudos to Giancarlo Esposito, because at least this isn’t Megalopolis. Anyway, I knew his character was added in reshoots and you can tell. There is a scene in which he tells Captain America the Leader’s backstory, even though this dude should not know so much about the Leader. I could talk about his character, how he’s bloodthirsty and he’s the leader of the Serpent Society and he keeps trying to stab Sam with axes, but I won’t. I will highlight how disappointing it is to see him just thrown away in this role. This is Giancarlo motherfucking Esposito. The dude can act the pants off an entire theater if given the chance. Why are we… MAKE HIM PROFESSOR X! HE SHOULD BE THE NEW PROFESSOR X! IT’S NOT MY IDEA, THE INTERNET LOVES THAT IDEA, BUT IT’S TRUE, HE WOULD BE SO FUCKING GOOD! STOP WASTING THIS DUDE ON UNDERWHELMING THROWAWAY VILLAIN ROLES!

Score/Soundtrack –
There were a couple song choices that felt thoroughly random but I can’t identify them now, though I do remember there’s a training scene set to “Elephant” by Tame Impala, which is a great song. It’s also a great chance for me to tell everyone about the time The Wiggles did a really epic cover of “Elephant” by Tame Impala that everyone should listen to. It honestly would’ve been way funnier if they played that one. Shout out to The Wiggles.

It’s big big spoiler time, everybody!

Not that it matters!

I can just drop the pretense at this point!

If you even bothered to read my review, I know you definitely haven’t seen this and don’t care what new Cap is up to!

I know I barely do, and I’m the one who’s supposed to care!

This one was kind of rough, guys.

It feels like a whatever installment before we get to what I genuinely think will be two great Marvel movies.

Anyway, spoilers spoilers spoilers!!!

Captain America: Brave New World Spoiler Review
So in the end war is stopped, Isaiah is released from prison, and after destroying the White House and fighting Captain America, Ross calms down and un-hulks and voluntarily gives up the presidency and goes to prison. I’ve got a few problems with this. The obvious one is, if the President of the United States of America (Not just the current one, in general, but yeah, mainly the current one) turned into a giant red monster and destroyed the White House, he would not voluntarily leave office. At this point he probably wouldn’t even be forced to step down. Especially if he mainly only turned into one because his physiology was sabotaged by an ugly green nerd.
After Isaiah is released, he voluntarily goes to the hospital to visit Torres, who was partially blown up, even though Torres was kind of a disrespectful brat to him for no reason. He also goes to a baseball game with Ruth, the woman who arrested him and put him in prison for a crime he did not commit. Dude’s just like “Ah yeah, no hard feelings here my man”. NO! NO, MY MAN! THIS IS BAD! YOU’VE BEEN FUCKED BY THIS COUNTRY REPEATEDLY! AT LEAST YOU DIDN’T GET BRAIN DAMAGE AND DIE LIKE THE COMICS BUT MY GOD MAN!
Also at the beginning of the movie Sam’s doing a weird workout with Isaiah where he dodges Isaiah’s attacks and pulls flags off his ass each time, but he doesn’t get the third flag. To clarify, this film follows a near identical structure to Winter Soldier, which is: fun workout-mission that’s part of a conspiracy-Captain America comes up against a legendary actor-legendary actor turns the country against Captain America and he’s sort of on the run-Captain America goes to a secret facility and uncovers the truth-final battle-callback to fun workout-someone is in the hospital. So when Isaiah is released from prison, Sam tags him on the ass and says “I got you” and Isaiah laughs and is grateful. Isaiah was bitter and he should have been and then this dumb prick got him arrested again even though he told Sam America doesn’t change. This is a bullshit ending. Not to mention, if I were a super soldier who had been experimented on in prison and arrested AGAIN for something I didn’t do, and someone startled me by touching me on the ass, I would throw that man through seven goddamn walls.
And the Leader is the villain I guess. He mind controls people by playing the song “Mr. Blue” because in the comics him and Bruce Banner have the code names Mr. Blue and Mr. Green. Ross arrested him after he got Gamma’d in 2008 and he Gamma’d him more until he got grosser and gooblier and smarter. And then Ross used Sterns’s analytical mind to win him the Presidency, said he would release him, and didn’t. So the Leader crafted a conspiracy to show the world that Ross sucked even though everyone knew he sucked and learning what he had done to get there would have changed fuck-all.
Oh, and Bucky is in this. For one scene. It feels like a reshoot. It feels like they threw this in here because they realized they screwed up because the Bucky/Sam dynamic is great. Bucky’s running for Congress because I guess that’ll be a Thunderbolts* plotline. I can buy that people would be fine with a Congressman who is over 100 years old and used to be a brainwashed Russian assassin, but dude’s hair is messy, his chin’s all scruffy. In Thunderbolts* he’s rocking a weird bob cut. I think he looks too grubby to be a Congressman.

Is this a good sequel?
Not really. It’s easily the weakest of the Captain America movies. And that’s a bummer because Anthony Mackie is very charismatic. I would have liked another Cap/Bucky team-up, it’s telling that Anthony Mackie himself was openly bummed that he wasn’t in this movie. I mean, he is, but for one scene. The issue is Anthony Mackie’s first Captain America movie was burdened with a lot of stuff that has nothing to do with him. First of all, it’s a structural ripoff of Winter Soldier. It’s a vague sequel to The Incredible Hulk. And somewhat retroactively, his character arc is just a sloppy copy paste of the theme of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier.
If I were to write this movie, I would’ve included Sam’s sister and nephews from the TV show, because they’re awesome. I would’ve had the President come to see him about restarting the Avengers and having Sam on his side but let Ross be more in control and play it more like he’s obviously just trying to use Sam. I then would’ve had Sam and Ross get gassed and Ross is kidnapped by unknown forces, and Sam flies after him. They get taken to a mysterious island and Sam tries to intercept but is shot down, and has to make his way from one side of the island to another with his wings not working. Maybe Torres spends the whole film trying to track him down and manages to get Sam a fresh pair of wings by the end in the final fight.
The island is littered with comic accurate members of the Serpent Society and Sam’s just a guy with a shield and military training who has to rescue the President because he’s being experimented on by the Leader, and then he has to fight the Red Hulk at the end. Also he befriends a bird he names Redwing, and has flashbacks to growing up with his dad, who was a preacher in the comics. It’s more insular and character focused, and less stuck in the shadows of other characters. I would watch that movie. This isn’t that though.

John’s Big Complaint:
You know what the worst part of this movie is? It isn’t the reshoots, or the meandering, or the refusal to be political. The worst part of this movie for me, and your opinion may differ, is the reluctance to be silly and comic booky. We’re 35 movies in now. We don’t need to avoid the comic bookness even if it ends up looking stupid or people hate on it. There are some recent movies that haven’t been great, but they’ve still tried to do the comic stuff. Wakanda Forever has Namor’s little foot wings. Quantumania has M.O.D.O.K. and his little butt. There were so many missed opportunities in this.
The Serpent Society was a massive letdown for me. I know there’s an instinct to be grounded, to real worldify this stuff. In Winter Soldier Batroc the Leaper was just a mercenary with no garish costume, no weird mask, no outrageous accent and insane mustache. Zola was a face in a TV, not a robot body with a TV face in the chest. The Serpent Society are not characters I’m especially enamored with, but they aren’t generic mercenaries. They are, as shown below, a bunch of psychos with snake related powers dressed in stupid costumes, and Sidewinder is a king who sits in a throne. It’s soooo disappointing what we got instead. THEY SHOULD SLITHER ABOUT AND SAY TOO MANY S’S IN THEIR SENTENCES! “I’M GOING TO SSSTAB YOU, SSSAM WILSSSSSON, WITH MY SSSSNAKE SSCYTHE. MWAHAHAHAHA!!!” Sigh.

And speaking of Sssam Wilssssson, he should be bird psychic. It’s an integral part of his character and it makes him more fun and comic booky. In the comics, he has a psychic link to all birds and he can use them to attack his villains. Joaquín Torres is also a weird bird man hybrid who was experimented on and grafted with aspects of Sam’s loyal bird Redwing who at this point was a vampire because he was bitten by Baron Blood, the Nazi vampire. Comics! I would really prefer Sam to be bird psychic than just have little bird themed drones, but I doubt we’ll get that. Oh, and the Leader design looks bad. They could’ve just given Tim Blake Nelson a big forehead. It’s a fine look and I think it would have translated better. Maybe I’m wrong.

What do the post-credits scenes set up for the future of Marvel?
So Sam goes to see the Leader in the Raft, which I do appreciate actually has some villains in it now, though I doubt we’re seeing Red Hulk, Zemo, or the Leader again. The Leader wants to tell Sam that the next two Avengers movies are going to come out eventually, because apparently he’s so smart he’s figured out the probability of there being a multiverse and knows incursions will soon happen. Or he saw Multiverse of Madness and The Marvels. He says “Something something too focused on saving the Earth yadda yadda bro you don’t even know you aren’t ready for… THE OTHERS etcetera etcetera.” Great. I mean, I don’t know. I don’t think they know exactly how any of this is going to happen. I’d rather they nail the next two movies, I don’t care as much about the multiversal brouhaha we’re going to get soon. I’m sure the Russo brothers and the screenwriter will figure it out, but I don’t even know which characters will be leading into all of that. There’s too many disparate threads. Who are the Avengers? What’s Shang-Chi up to? Will Ant-Man be relieved to hear that all the Kangs were defeated off-screen in Loki? What are Spider-Man 4 and Black Panther 3 going to be like? Are we going to forget Thor has a daughter or see Jane again? I guess we’ll see.

Overall Rating – 6.2/10(It’s a movie. I would’ve liked another season of the TV show more I think.)
Rudd Rating – 2/10(No Ant-Man in this, but he’s mentioned twice. It’s nice to be reminded that Ant-Man kicked our Captain America’s ass once. I would love to see Ant-Man as Captain America.)