Happy Thanksgiving! In honor of this holiday all about eating too much food with your relatives, I decided I'd write some horror stories for you. Or at least, horror stories from my perspective. It's seasonally appropriate! The Midnight ShiftImagine, if you will, that you're a twenty year old man working at a library. Let's say … Continue reading A Few Scary Stories
I've decided to continue my weird, time-honored tradition of posting at least five brilliant movie ideas every three months. I'm not sure how much of a tradition it is because this is only my third time doing it. And is it really a tradition or is it just a pattern? How many times do you … Continue reading John’s Movie Pitches Part 3
I think I've mentioned before that I'm a little obsessed with comic books and comic book movies in general. They're a pretty big part of my life, and they always have been. I'm sure I've said this before, but I know more about the worlds of Marvel and DC comics than I know about current … Continue reading Why Do I Love Superheroes?
DISCLAIMER: This post was written one week before I plan on posting it, so by the time this is published I will no longer be in quarantine and I will have rejoined the real world. Just wanted to make that clear so as to dissuade any worries. So a few months ago I made a … Continue reading Quarantining Outside My Comfort Zone
Charlie had been staring at his computer screen for exactly one hour, forty-three minutes and seventeen seconds. In this time he had averaged two blinks every thirty minutes, and had only turned away from the computer three and a half times. Two of those times were so he could flip the novelty hourglass he kept … Continue reading Can’t The Story Just Write Itself?
Today I'm moving back to Duluth. The city of fog, barber shops and sandwiches. And in three days I'll be beginning my sophomore year of college. And you may be thinking "That's very exciting. I bet, given all I know about John, that he's feeling excited, prepared, and not the least bit overwhelmed. And at … Continue reading Something is Happening
Today’s my day off! I could try and rope someone into taking me to Grand Marais, but I’d much rather sit around and do nothing. But I also wanted to write a blog post. And since I’m doing nothing, I’m going to write about nothing. Real stream of consciousness shit. Completely different from my other … Continue reading Nothing is Happening
I wanted to start writing short stupid stories in different formats. And this week I decided to write my own fairy tale. It’s not like we have any good new fairy tales, right? It’s all pigs and wolves and shoes and beanstalks and other crap. Let’s get some new blood in there. I’m sick of … Continue reading A Modern Fairy Tale
For many reasons that don't really make sense, I chose to spend my summer working at a summer camp that sends campers out on canoe portaging trips in the Boundary Waters. Despite the fact that it isn't something I would normally do, I've been having a pretty good time so far. I just returned from … Continue reading Canoeing Outside My Comfort Zone
About three months ago I decided that the best way to break into Hollywood was to tell them my ideas directly. That way they could come to me and option all my excellent movie ideas. But for some reason, nobody ever contacted me about any of my pitches. I've thought long and hard about why … Continue reading More of John’s Movie Pitches!