Previously on The Flying Nun, Revisited…
“The Flying Nun is a hip sixties woman named Sister Bertrille from New York and she just began working at a convent in exceedingly windy San Juan, Puerto Rico. She weighs ninety pounds and her cornette is shaped in such a way that makes it aerodynamic when countered with a large gust of wind. She sings songs to children like The Sound of Music and there’s a local sleazy rich jerk named Carlos that Sister Bertrille is always running into whenever he’s about to kiss a woman. She usually gets into some sort of scheme that involves using his vast wealth or losing his vast wealth. The Flying Nun has a warm but begrudging friendship with the Reverend Mother. She’s also a good mechanic, and allergic to Hibiscus. Her real name is Elsie, and she comes from a family of doctors. She’s good friends with Sister Jacqueline, who narrates the episodes, as well as Sister Sixto. And she’s friendly with birds, whether they talk or have crushes on her.”

Season One is ending for our flying friend and her exhausted convent. With Season Two on the horizon, God only knows whether each random episode’s plotline will get tied together. Cut to present day!

The Flying Nun IMDb

Introduction –
In the modern day, no concept, TV show or movie is ever forgotten. Everything, no matter how stupid, has a fanbase of some kind and ends up getting a sequel, a revival, or a recap podcast with people laughing at jokes they made five to thirty years ago. Why has the long forgotten Sally Field sitcom, The Flying Nun, been left behind? They don’t make TV shows like this anymore! It’s all destiny this and chosen one that and overlong plotlines designed to keep viewers interested in a show that hinges on the ability to nail the ending of whatever story it’s meant to tell. Well I’m here to say 60’s television is better. Sister Bertrille can’t fly because she was chosen by God or destined to have the powers, she flies because she’s skinny in a windy town with a flat hat. And I for one think that needs celebrating.

The Flying Nun, 1.26: “Where There’s A Will”
Sister Bertrille, fresh off her racist chopsticks song (See last entry) has endeared herself to a now late gentleman who once had quite a large fortune, but due to his gambling, the Convent no longer has the ability to use his funds to fix the many issues at the Convent. Instead they are given the deed to own the “Buffalo Buzzsaw”, a prize fighter. Heh. Of course the Convent can’t own a prize fighter, but they can’t throw the homeless man out onto the street, and so the hilarity begins. He immediately gets to work gardening, fixing things, helping the children, and cooking. But the Reverend Mother isn’t convinced. Oh, and in case you were curious, the word pugilist has been said twice in this episode. Carlos suggests the Convent sell him or set him free “like Abraham Lincoln” but the Buzzsaw’s not interested.
This time instead of forcing Carlos to help or take ownership of the Buzzsaw, she tries to walk away, which just makes Carlos want to help train him. And before long we’re being treated to that long-awaited Rocky/Sound of Music thematic crossover, where a cooking obsessed boxer jumps rope and spars with Carlos to get in shape. Of course the Buzzsaw overhears Sister Bertrille and the Reverend Mother talking about the fight, talking about finding him a new home, and he runs out and finds shelter at a yummy banana tree. He laments about how many times he’s been sold and traded. It’s odd, this episode about a white male boxer from Buffalo feels like an attempt at a comedic critique on the slave trade, which… I mean, it’s a ridiculous comparison to make. At the end of the day, we learn the Buzzsaw hates fighting, he’s afraid of hurting the other fighters, and he can’t get the Convent the money to fix the wiring. But he goes anyway for love of the Convent and beats the other guy in two punches. The wiring is fixed and Buzzsaw gets control of his contract, only to immediately retire and work for Carlos as a chef. Happy endings…?
Episode Rating – 6.1 Sally Fields

The Flying Nun, 1.27: “The Puce Albert”
This week, Carlos goes on two weeks active duty with the Marine Corps Reserve. Even though he’s on guard duty for the Marines, he’s still somehow schmoozing multiple women at once. Because he brought them there on his yacht. Private Ramirez’s commanding officer hates him so much that he court marshals Ramirez and plans to make his two week stint to become a 20 year stay in the brig. Carlos wants out and he uses his girlfriend to ask Sister Bertrille to save him. We very quickly learn that the earnest Captain is the Reverend Mother’s cousin. So Bertrille flies over to the island that is currently on Red Alert and is mistaken for… a missile? Ugh. And the Marines fire flour at her for some reason while we’re treated to a military style rendition of the Flying Nun theme.
The Captain catches her and detains both her and Carlos, submitting them to incredibly mild interrogation. I like the Captain, he’s very good, he looks like an American John Cleese. He refuses to believe in lift + thrust and chooses to believe that Carlos was sent as a decoy by the higher-ups. He’s insane, he visits his cousin by creeping in through the balcony, and insists that the Reverend Mother, Carlos, and Sister Bertrille are all working for an enemy operative to undermine him. The terms of the Red Alert are unclear. Is this a training exercise? Or not? Finally he sees her flying and listens when she spots the real enemy troops coming from the other side of the island and sees through their decoy. I thought initially the budget for this episode was higher, but it seems far more likely footage from a war movie has been reused. This was weird. I loved the weird aggressive mumbley Captain though. He should get his own show.
Episode Rating – 7.0 Sally Fields

The Flying Nun, 1.28: “May The Wind Be Always At Your Back”
Sister Bertrille has asked Carlos Ramirez to give the highest achieving boy and girl in class a prize, but Bridget, the young female winner, instantly says no, because she’s shy and wants to dissect a frog. The boy says no in turn. Sister Bertrille persuades them to go so she can have linguini in Carlos’s captain’s cabin. The set-up of this is odd and leering. Sister Bertrille thinks Bridget is shy and likes Carlos, though she’s much younger, and has a very mild Irish accent? And Joel clearly has a crush on Bridget but audibly says “She doesn’t think she’s pretty”. What is the point of this one? That’s what I’d like to know. “Oh, I know I’m late. Don’t scold me. Don’t spoil the most beautiful day a Galloway girl ever had.” Jesus. So Bridget loves Carlos. And she uses regular mud to give herself a face mask and iron her hair with a regular iron. She stops focusing on her schoolwork before her big scholarship test and runs away. And I’m supposed to care.
So now Carlos has to let her down easily, when the Irish child makes herself look like Sister Bertrille’s twin. Not like Carlos’s niece did, with the habit, but with her hair and outfit. I truly don’t understand why this weird Irish not Irish girl has shown up out of nowhere. To be clear, the actress playing Bridget Faulkner is from California and not in the slightest bit Irish. Joel professes his “kinda liking” to Bridget. “I have something to say and I’m gonna get it off my chest no matter how Irish and mad you get.” We have the makings of a dysfunctionally abusive relationship here. Consequently, two poorly talented child actors with very low self esteem fall for each other. Ugh. Young love. Why? And Carlos throws a party, having learned not to fight Sister Bertrille’s plans.
Episode Rating – 4.2 Sally Fields

The Flying Nun, 1.29: “Love Me, Love My Dog”
In the shopping district, a former crook’s dog steals a woman’s purse. He recovers the purse and intends to give it back, but the police and the woman aren’t buying his story. While the man goes to jail, the conniving dog intrudes upon Sister Bertrille’s celebratory first grader weenie roast dinner. Quickly after the dog shows up, a boy hides. At first I was hoping the boy had been eaten by the dog and this episode would take a turn. Instead he falls in love with the dog and Raffles the dog goes back to the Convent with them. When Raffles meets Carlos he steals his wallet. The Reverend Mother isn’t on board with the dog being around of course, especially not if he’s a thief. This is actually a fun concept for an episode of a TV show, but why this one? And they’re still driving that horrible purple car.
Somehow we’re meant to believe the dog could roll down the window in the car, escape, steal some things, get back in, and roll the window back up with several purses in tow. What kind of idiots do they think we are? This isn’t the kind of show to make us suspend our sense of belief. When the car gets a flat tire and a policeman comes to help, Raffles takes all the purses and puts them in the policeman’s car without him noticing. I’m not enjoying this one but the Reverend Mother gives us a great quote. “The Convent San Tanco is not a rehabilitation center for delinquent canines.” You go, Reverend Mother. Of course the Monseigneur happens by and leaves without his wallet, damning Raffles to the pound. And Jamie, the sad boy, thinks he has to save Raffles just as the former criminal the Gypsy is released from jail and comes looking for his dog. Go away, Jamie. “No sister, I won’t come out of my safe space. I won’t let you take Raffles to the pound.” I hate these child actors. They’re terrible. All’s well that ends well, and the steps of redemption begin for Raffles and the Gypsy.
Episode Rating – 5.0 Sally Fields

The Flying Nun, 1.30: “You Can’t Get There From Here”
We finally end this chaotic first season with a classic ominous episode concept: Sister Bertrille has been stripped of her powers. She finds herself stranded on an island after the wind dies down and her cornette is drenched and torn. But she’s not the only one stranded. Carlos and one of his girlfriends are there too. What is this, an episode of Lost? What’s not surprising is that Carlos made an ill-conceived advance on a woman who got upset and stole his yacht. He should get cancelled. What is surprising is they use a flashback from the episode where they used him as bait to fix that gangster’s relationship as an example of his bad relationship decisions. That’s the one clip that doesn’t make sense. Soon we’re watching more and more flashbacks of the last 29 episodes. I didn’t expect this becoming a clip show.
Carlos’s spurned partner crashed his boat, and Sister Bertrille has to keep the two of them apart since Carlos has repeatedly said he wants to kill her. Soon they find each other and try to kill each other in one of the most dynamic sequences we’ve had this season, that ends with Sister Bertrille falling in quicksand. They pull her out and clean her up and she flies off to get help, before cockblocking the creepy Carlos one more time, and spurring one final surprised reaction to her flying before the season ends. And now we move on to season two and a different aspect ratio. Oh boy. Too late to quit now.
Episode Rating – 6.2 Sally Fields

This has been quite an odd season. We’ve seen shipwrecks recovered, old men fulfill their maritime dreams, religious divides get clumsily tackled, young boys revisit childhood trauma, horrible racist chopsticks songs get sung, nuns get caved in with criminals, gamble in jail, face the military, give mobsters religious awakenings, and cause it to snow. Was it all worth it? Hard to say unless this post gets 100 views. Anyway. Season two starts next month, or alternatively, 66 years ago.