Back in May I released a short story I was rather proud of, starring a character I enjoyed writing. Recently I completed a second short story starring this character that is longer and hopefully just as fun. I will be trying something new and releasing it in seven segments starting today. This is the sixth segment. This was a labor of love and I am delighted to share it with you. Please enjoy the next Dale Ulysses Monroe adventure.

Pushing The Envelope
From the Case Files of Dale Ulysses Monroe, P.I.
Published with assistance from
John J Skrip and associates

August 10th, 2017

The sky had been gray and angry all day, the way it is when you know it’s gonna storm but it’s waiting for the exact moment you actually need to do something. I wouldn’t mind, but it meant, once again, no tan. At 6:00 I trudged my way down to the locker room. A frail woman in her late 70’s with dyed black hair had gotten a leg cramp during her aerobics routine, so I was now covered in chlorine and the urine of tiny children. Figures. I was already sweating about the case, why not throw more at me, eh? Tom and Harry stuck to their corner this time, and talked amongst themselves. This wasn’t like them at all. Part of me was sad they weren’t badgering me. I’d have liked the company. 

On my way home I stopped at the Grocery Garage for a carton of orange juice. Ferocious humidity gave way for the welcoming icy tendrils of  ever-reliable air conditioning as I passed the sliding doors, and suddenly all my worries faded away. Oddly, Julie was awake, flipping through a magazine about cheeses. On my way to the juice aisle I was distracted by an overflowing bargain bin of DVDs. I sifted through the lot. 

“What’re you gonna watch?” A kid who appeared to be 18 or 19 stood  on the other side, doing his own search. His curly red hair sat just above his purple sweatshirt.

“Not sure. This one looks interesting.” The DVD depicted a burning building on the cover. I read the synopsis on the back. “Five Alarm Fire. It’s a documentary about firefighters throughout history and their various policies and procedures.”

“Uhhh, kinda boring, right? How about… this?” He produced a film with a large photo of a golf ball on it. “‘Double Bogey, the tale of Timmy Henderson, a boy who finds himself stuck in a golfing video game. The only way to escape is to play the game of his life, and win. But the characters in the game want out too. Can he make it in time for his sister’s Bat Mitzvah?’ I might get this one.”

I nodded, less than convinced. 

He moved on to the next aisle and I put the firefighter documentary in my basket. Now, what else to buy? I went to the next aisle to get chips. A couple minutes later, I saw the kid standing in the card aisle. I looked down at his shoes. They were faded white. 

He said “Hey,” and picked up an envelope. He craned his neck toward Julie, and began to lick the seal. 

“My name’s Dale.”

“Larry.”

“What’re you up to, Larry?”

“A few weeks ago my friends and I were bored, so we started doing this. It’s funny as hell, people trying to open them up and getting all frustrated. Can’t do it too much though, or my tongue feels fuzzy.”

“Heh. Yes, Larry, that’s a good one. Oops!” I dropped my orange juice to create an obstacle between him and the door. “Oh, what a bummer.”

“Dude, you got OJ on my sneakers!”

“JULIE, HE’S HERE! THE ENVELOPE KID IS HERE! LOCK THE DOOR AND CALL THE COPS!” I spread my arms wide and locked my knees to stop him from getting through.

“Really, man?” He rolled his eyes and threw Double Bogey at me. I dodged, but he ran past me, deftly ignoring my puddle and pushing me into a Diet Pepsi display on his way out the door. I sat for a moment to absorb my failure before finding a new carton of OJ and making my way to Julie. She was still reading her magazine, unphased.

“Did you know there are over 2,000 varieties of cheeses?” She asked as she rang me out.

To Be Concluded…