In Honor Of The Sexiest Man Alive

I’d prefer not to put out two posts in the same day, but this man deserves it. At time of writing, I have yet to buy my two copies of his magazine, but first chance tomorrow, I’m running down to the grocery store to get them. If you’re reading this, you probably know about this already, but I’ll say it again: Paul Rudd has been named People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive for 2021. I’d like to thank the people who sent me this news, as well of those who said they thought of me when they found out. Now time for an anecdote.

The day after the election back in 2016, I woke up, not knowing who had won. But I felt something wrong. I felt very awake and was in a good mood. But something was off. I checked my phone and saw the news, but it didn’t really register. I read it, but it didn’t connect. So I made the bed, showered, got dressed, ate, and brushed my teeth. I was throwing stuff in my backpack when it finally occurred to me to look at my phone again. For the second time that morning I read the words “Donald Trump elected President”, then turned the lights off and got into bed.

Two days ago I woke up feeling extremely shitty. I had gotten four hours of sleep, my left foot hurt for some reason. I had a headache, and I didn’t want to go anywhere. I went on my phone and checked the news and YouTube and all that, as I do every morning. I read the words “Paul Rudd named People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive” and the next thing I knew I was down at the Dining Hall eating oatmeal.

It wasn’t a great day, and I didn’t feel very good. But every time I started feeling down I pulled up the photo I’ll include below and allowed the giant grin to creep across my face. I enjoyed my victory by proxy. I’m not sure if it’s clear, but I love Paul Rudd. I’m also a big fan of Nick Offerman. And what they have in common is that they are both very famous men who are completely normal people. They are incredibly humble and talented goofballs that demonstrate every day that you don’t have to be a dick to be famous. Paul Rudd is my hero. The humility he has, the ability to laugh at himself, the complete disdain he has for social media and his refusal to promote himself on talk shows(Look up Paul Rudd and Conan O’Brien: Mac and Me). He’s a very good guy. And in this day and age, a very good guy in Hollywood is impossible to find. That’s why I wanted to do that stupid review column none of you read. Because even in the worst movies, his undeniable charm shines through. The sheer positivity. The agelessness. The man is incredible. And in his flaws lie perfection.

I talk a lot about being detached from the real world, and struggling to live a life of my own because I get too obsessed with stuff like this. But the great thing about Paul Rudd is the anchor he gives me. Everything he does brings me incredible joy while reminding me to keep going. Because if an incredibly normal guy like him can make it, why not me? That’s a joke, he’s not normal. He’s a God. He is my role model(Pun unintended). I’m very tired so I’m going to wrap this up.

Thank you for everything you do, Paul Rudd. Thank you for the joy you bring me and the ridiculous things you do all the time. Thank you for making me laugh when I feel like shit. Thank you for not being a horrible human being, because if any sexual assault allegations ever come out towards you, I genuinely don’t know if I’ll be able to survive it. Thank you, the Sexiest Man Alive(I don’t love this cover by the way I think they edited it in some way).

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