I’m usually listening to or watching something if I can. A podcast or some music, or some dumb TV show or movie. Because I hate being alone with my thoughts. I have too much to get done and I can’t deal with all the depressing crap my mind pumps out. “What’ll happen when I die?” “Will anyone ever want to date me?” “Am I really the worst person to ever live?” “I bet you think The Office IS better than Parks and Recreation, but you say it isn’t because you want to seem different.” It’s really hard to avoid all this crap up here, because, despite all the EXTREMELY LOUD AND ANNOYING NEIGHBORS, things are fairly quiet and uneventful. Occasionally I try to turn off what I’m listening to and just let stuff flow through my mind. It helps me think of ideas for blog posts that are better than this one, stories, jokes, etc. Not all of my thoughts are unconstructive mean things from my evil brain. But this last week I’ve had a weird form of writer’s block that I can’t say I’ve ever experienced before. It’s not just having a song stuck in my head, because it only happens when I try to think of ideas. This is what I hear when I shut everything down and try to really think:
Me – “Alright, let’s see. What should I write today? Should I finish my Space Jam: A New Legacy review?”
My Brain – “FISH HEADS, FISH HEADS, ROLY POLY FISH HEADS. FISH HEADS, FISH HEADS, EAT THEM UP, YUM.”
Me – “Yeah, that’s a good song, but someone already wrote that. That doesn’t help me.”
My Brain – “ASK A FISH HEAD ANYTHING YOU WANT TO. THEY WON’T ANSWER, THEY CAN’T TALK.”
Me – “Yes, thank you. What about a mystery? I could go back to working on that short story I started?”
My Brain – “I TOOK A FISH HEAD OUT TO SEE A MOVIE. DIDN’T HAVE TO PAY TO GET IT IN.”
Me – “Okay, you know that’s my favorite lyric, but I just finished my homework and I only have a little bit of time to write a post! I could complain about something, how about that? That’s what most of these are anyway.”
My Brain – “FISH HEADS, FISH HEADS, ROLY POLY FISH HEA-”
Me – “GOD DAMMIT!!!”
Every time. I’ve tried replacing it with other classics like Little Bunny Foo-Foo, Charlie the Unicorn, and The Duck Song, but it doesn’t work. My brain has decided to stop insulting me and just prevent me from producing anything creative by using one of my favorite songs against me. Now I’m stuck writing about it, and it’s not even that interesting! I’ll allow my brain to insult me as much as it wants, but stop me from coming up with ideas for my incredibly important blog that is read by millions? This means war.
Too Many Servings Of John 