Today I’m moving back to Duluth. The city of fog, barber shops and sandwiches. And in three days I’ll be beginning my sophomore year of college. And you may be thinking “That’s very exciting. I bet, given all I know about John, that he’s feeling excited, prepared, and not the least bit overwhelmed. And at this point his whole ‘you may be thinking this thing but you’re wrong’ bit is getting a little tired, so there’s no way he’s doing it again.” Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, loyal reader of http://www.toomanyservingsofjohn.com. Because I’m definitely freaking out a little here. You’d think it would get easier the second time around. Packing up all your crap and moving it two hours away from home to start a year of sleep deprivation, unhealthy eating and falling behind in every aspect of your life. Because in a way I’ve been doing all of those things for years from the comfort of my own home, and the two hours really shouldn’t make that big a difference. But boy, do they. And now, after a summer of galavanting around the boundary waters and two weeks of getting very stressed out about this day in particular, I have arrived. And I… am… sweaty. Tired and sweaty. You know what the worst thing about sweat is? It shows up literally everywhere. My feet are sweaty. My upper lip is sweaty. The hair clinging to the back of my neck is sweaty. My eyes are sweaty. Even my internal organs are sweaty. Since this is the third time that I’ve packed up 75% of the things that I own, I’m getting a little better at taking up less space. But hauling all the crap I have hasn’t gotten any less annoying and laborsome. And in terms of packing, the worst fucking part of it is trying to fit as much clothes as I can into my annoying fucking duffel bag. I fucking hate my duffel bag. I’ve owned the stupid thing for seven years, and for seven years I’ve been struggling to zip that stupid goddamn duffel bag. And there’s always just too many things in it and it never ever wants to close. One of these days I’m going to set that bag on fire and cackle wildly as the unrelenting flames of my hatred consume that torturous, horrid sack of shit until there’s nothing left but a heaping pile of ash.
I’m sorry, that got a little dark. But you know, there are worse things in life to direct your anger towards. And my arch-enemy is neither sentient or human. It still manages to make lives worse though. Despite all the irritation and anxiety, I will begrudgingly admit that I am looking forward to being back at college. The sense of freedom that I get from setting out on my own is hard to beat. The sense of loneliness is also hard to beat. Do you know how hard it is to feel alone at a school that over a thousand(Probably) people go to? Probably not that hard, because a lot of people are depressed. But I’m really good at feeling lonely. Again, I feel like I’m underselling this whole moving back in thing and making it sound like I’m miserable, when in actuality I’m just quite tired. So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to list some things I did at camp and counter them with things I’m gonna try to do this year. It’ll be a bucket list/make up for not posting in a month thingy.
- I had to paddle a gasless pontoon in the middle of a rain storm with the help of two idiots. One of them didn’t have a paddle and instead used a broom, which was my brilliant idea.
- I want to hammock more before Duluth succumbs to the desolation of winter.
- I spent twenty minutes wandering through one of the many trails on the island searching for a cabin that did not exist to get help moving a mattress that we found out didn’t need to get moved at all. After another good thirty minutes of getting lost in the woods I stumbled out by my cabin, having completed a full idiot circle. An idiot circle is a circle that is made by an idiot.
- I want to do more things on campus and watch less shitty TV shows that I don’t actually like watching.
- I watched The Duff two and 1/3 times. Do not watch The Duff. It is a terrible movie written by idiots. If you’re wondering what it’s about, just imagine if Mean Girls was written by someone who hated women.
- I don’t want to miss any classes this year, even though I was an idiot and I booked an 8 AM class for every day.
- I bought the book The Duff. I cannot give any recommendation or judge the quality of this book in any way as I have yet to read it. But I will say that buying books as a joke is usually a bad idea and I do it too often.
- I want to cook more and blog more as well.
So there you go. After another hiatus I have returned. Will I be keeping a more regular schedule? We’ll see. I’m a very busy man. I’m always on the run, signing autographs and autographing signs. Plus I’m constantly busy with my other blog, From A to B: Dissecting the Cinematic Classic, the Bee Movie, One Frame at a Time. But my plan is to post more often. I’ve also been thinking about introducing an audio element for those who don’t enjoy reading. So I might start doing some posts like that. But for now I must continue unpacking so I can start my new school year and theoretically learn some things. This is a brand new John era, everyone! Brand new adventures, same dumb jokes. Let’s do it!
Too Many Servings Of John 