For the sake of tradition, I will now write a list of things that I will not end up doing in the coming year, so I can look back at this and get super depressed 364 days from now. Let’s do it!
- Be funnier.
- Go on more adventures.
- Figure out how to make the stubble on your face grow slower so you don’t have to shave every day.
- Avoid the incredibly depressing fact that you’re going to turn twenty this year.
- Hang out with less fictional characters.
- Wake up in time to see the sun set at least once a week.
- Reorganize your comic books autobiographically.
- Finally figure out why everybody loves cream cheese frosting.
- Talk about Jared Leto less.
- Avoid your feelings more.
- Wear more flannels.
- Figure out how to feel colder in Duluth.
- Do something with one of the seven book ideas you have.
- Build a mute button for whiny dogs and annoying, drunk college students.
- Read more and talk less.
- Find a pair of jorts that just scream “You.”
- Work on your anxiety.
- Was that too personal? I’m worried that that was too personal.
- Stop spending your weekends competing in intense and deadly boxing tournaments.
- Learn how to figure skate.
So that’s my plan for this year! And my word for 2022 is:
OCTOPUS
Too Many Servings Of John 