Okay. This is it. you’re going to write a blog post. No more distractions. You can’t keep staring off into the distance. You have to get something done. The ideas won’t come to you out of nowhere, and the post certainly won’t write itself.
You gotta focus, John. Stop letting random and useless thoughts get in the way of your writing. It’s time to write! No John, don’t do that. Stop looking at the wooden hand that you set up to flip people off as they come into your room. Look back over here. And stop thinking about the disgusting antics of method actor and pop sensation Jared Leto. You should know by now that if you go down that horrifying rabbit hole it’ll be nearly impossible to think of anything else.
No, don’t just sit there and stare at the lamp! Write something! What do you mean, you can’t think of anything??? You’ve been staring at that wall for two hours and you thought of nothing?! You’re kidding. You didn’t think of a poem to write or a review of some dumb movie that nobody likes? Oh, you don’t feel like it. Well I’m sure your loyal reader will understand that you just didn’t feel like it today.
Oh yeah, there you go. Just open up a comic book instead of getting the work done. Classic John. Always avoiding his issues. No, instead of following up on this thing you promised to do, let’s check in on The Flash this week. Let me take a wild stab at what he’s up to: He doesn’t think he’s fast enough but it turns out he is. Did I get it right?
Now you’re ignoring me. That’s fantastic. And you wonder why I’ve been cheating on you with the mailman. What did you say? In what way have I made this joke too confusing?! How dare yo-
I’m sorry folks, we’re experiencing some technical difficulties, we should be back up and running shortly. Here’s a picture of a horse that you can look at while you wait:
Sorry about that. My inner dialogue got a little intense there for a bit. I did, however, finally think of something to write about. So this is something that I’ve mentioned before in passing, and I just wanted to say a couple quick things about it here before I inevitably take a much more in-depth look at it later on.
There are many phenomena throughout history that have left people much smarter than me absolutely perplexed. The Placebo effect. Why there are so many more right-handed people than left handed people. The reason that mosquitos exist. These things just can’t be explained. But I have decided to get to the bottom of one of those mysteries:
I am going to devote my spare time to soaking up every bit of information I can find on this topic in the hopes of finding the answers to the following questions. And if I do my job, those answers will finally tell me WHY THE FLYING NUN EXISTS. I’m not upset, by the way. It’s in all caps for emphasis.
Who came up with the idea?
Who greenlit this stupid show?
Why would Sally Field, a renowned and incredible actress, willingly be a part of this?
Is this a real thing or did I go insane already?
Why isn’t everyone asking these questions?
So that’s a tease of things to come. I have found a way to watch all three seasons, and intend to do so. Hopefully this quest will put an end to my curiosity so I can finally stop thinking about this, but I doubt that will be the case. And again, my apologies for the bit at the beginning. I had a chat with myself and he promised not to talk like that on here from now on.