I’m not the first person to point out how unrealistic some songs can be. You could go on Spotify right now and listen to over a thousand different songs about getting drunk and partying and having the best day of your life. Now I’ve never gotten drunk myself, but from what I’ve heard from people who have, it isn’t that fun at all. And yeah, all those songs are fun and everything, but shouldn’t we have music that represents what real life is like? Not everything should be about escapism. Or at least that’s what I think. So I thought I would write a song about what it’s like to be a college student who has no idea what they’re doing with their life and can barely bring themselves to leave the apartment somedays. Because, as I said, the messages these songs are promoting should be much more universal and all encompassing. And obviously I don’t want to actually sing the song and record it and put it on here. Not only would that be too much work, but it would also make me feel very uncomfortable and vulnerable. Music isn’t supposed to be about being open and vulnerable, guys. I write stupid things about getting stuck in elevators and movies you haven’t seen to promote my idiotic and fun-loving facade, in the hope that it’ll prevent anyone from seeing how broken I am. And occasionally I give you glimpses at how I really feel because I’m under the impression that that somehow adds to the joke. I don’t write deep and emotional music. Or at least I did, once, with the help of my camp counselors. I’m really proud of that song. But I’m not gonna share it here. It isn’t funny and Paul Rudd isn’t mentioned even once. So when you read the “song”, just pretend that there’s some sort of beat or rhythm or instrument playing.
Oh, and I know these lyrics may make it sound like I’m miserable when I’m at school. That isn’t the case. Should I get better at turning in assignments on time and wake up earlier? Yes. Does me saying that I’m happy most days but sometimes depression sets in and I also have room to improve make for an interesting song? No, it does not.
Bored and Needlessly Grumpy – The College Song
I wake up(Up)
It’s 8:05
I’m missing class
But I don’t want to join(Join)
The Zoom link
I should’ve just
Gone to class in person(Person)
But I didn’t
Now I’m here
Lying in my bed(Bed)
Oh, I’m so tired
I just want
To go back to sleep(Sleep)
But I can’t
My head is pounding
I can’t think, I’m stuck(Stuck)
So stuck
In this
Routine(Hold the last syllable of routine and fade into a new hypothetical beat)
I just showered; I’m already sweating
Hard to say how much I hate that shit
Out the door and just keep walking
Ignore the snow as it slaps you in the face
At work I look at my assignments
Try not to cry as the grades tick down
I ignore it as I shelve some books
There’s always more books to shelve
At the Dining Hall, looking around
Seeking something edible
8-Ball says “Not likely”
So I find the exit(Echo exit a few times and trail into the original beat)
I just walk(Walk)
Walk away
All the way
To the top of the hill(Hill)
I just sit
And look around
For something else to say(Say)
I don’t know
Why I did
This little song(Song)
It’s really not
That easy to
Write lyrics(Lyrics)
I just figured
Out a little pattern
And here we are(Are)
It isn’t even
That easy to
Follow(Hold the last syllable of follow and fade back into the other hypothetical beat)
Okay, now we’re back in the freeform bit
Maybe I can say what I wanted to say
A few lines back I lost the beat
And forgot what I was talking about
This is probably why people don’t
Write songs off the cuff
Unless they’re professionally trained
Which I am not, in case you were wondering
I think I wanted to sing about
How I sit around and watch TV
Instead of doing homework or working on the blog
I really don’t get that much done(Echo done a few times and trail into the original beat)
Oh great(Great)
I guess I’m back
Stuck again
Doing this dumb beat(Beat)
Does anyone
Know how to
Finish up a song(Song)
Or whatever this is
I’m just
Really not sure(Sure)
This whole thing
Has gotten out
Of hand(Hand)
Aren’t most songs
Meant to have
A chorus(Chorus)?
This one doesn’t
So is it
Really a song(Hold the last syllable of follow and fade back into the other hypothetical beat)
Are you confused? I’m confused
This was meant to be a song
A song about school and depression and stuff
But I forgot what I was doing
Is this even funny to you?
A man writing improvised words in a vague format
Having no idea what he’s gonna say next
And not really knowing what he said before
I guess this kinda works out
As a metaphor for my freshman year
Waking up with no plan
Saying whatever to get through the day(Echo done a few times and trail into the original beat)
And it’s not(Not)
Like the songs
About nothing
Being released today(Day)
For example
It’s not fun
Or even inspiring(Inspiring)
It’s just complaints
About college
And some useless banter(Banter)
It’s actually
But maybe not
A little innovative(Innovative)
But what do I know
I’m just saying random things to pad
The word count(Word count)
Anyway
I hope that
You enjoyed this thing(Thing!)
So I’m not sure what that was. I might try to do this again and not lose track of what I’m doing halfway through. Or I might destroy this and never release it. But I guess I just have to write every day and see what I get. It can’t all be gold, right?
Yeah, I promise I’ll put more effort into the next post. This was really… it was something. But if you enjoyed it, good for you. I’m slowing down the output of Ruddtrospectives right now, so a lot of my posts might just be weird crap like this for a bit. We’ll see. Anyway, happy Friday.
Too Many Servings Of John 