Blog
Random musings and observations, plus whatever else John feels like doing.
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Hello, loyal reader! It’s me, John! If you’re reading this, surely you get the idea of the kind of person I am at this point. I love to write and talk about movies, but I’m also easily stressed and struggle with consistency when it comes to posting regularly or writing for myself regularly. And I’d Read more
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This is different from the usual blog posts I write in that I’ve never talked about going to concerts before but I went to one on Saturday and it was really fun and I want to talk about it. I’m seeing two of my favorite bands in concert this summer, so in July when I Read more
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This is my third Top 10 list ranking various things, and there are more to come, but I thought I’d shake up the format a little. As some of you may know, I started writing Top 10 lists because ranking is the big thing on the internet right now and I feel there are things Read more
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A year ago now I wrote three short stories for a short story class, and I released the first two, Substitute Fish and Don’t Kill The Rooster last year when I couldn’t think of anything to write. I dragged my feet on this one because I really liked it but wanted to edit it and Read more
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It took me a while to get here, but this is officially my 100th blog post! It’s been almost three years now and I’ve come a long way and thrown a lot of nonsense out in my movie reviews, pitches, and miscellaneous musings. I just wanted to use this post as an opportunity to catch Read more
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Welcome, one and all, to the second installment of my now reoccurring ranking column. There are so many things in this world to rank, and so little people willing to do it. Well here I am. As I said last time, I’ll eventually pivot slightly and use these to rank movies and comics I’d recommend, Read more
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I’ve done a few of these movie pitch posts now and none of them have been made yet. Is it because I’m just throwing joke ideas onto my blog and hoping Hollywood will notice me? Perhaps. But I wouldn’t discount the complete lack of originality in most of the movies being released today. Much like Read more
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If there’s something in the world I really, truly hate, and there’s a lot of them, it’s the threat of artificial intelligence and what it represents to the world of moviemaking and writing at large. I especially despise that abominable creation ChatGPT, produced by the company OpenAI, and would very much like to see it Read more
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Hey, everybody! In my ongoing quest to improve myself as a human being and write weird shit on a consistent time table, I’m rededicating my efforts to this blog, the magnum opus through which I channel my most inane thoughts. You can expect more posts, more Ruddtrospectives, and more Flying Nun reviews in the near Read more
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Now that the writer’s strike is over and the actor’s strike will definitely end soon (Because the AMPTP Jerks are definitely going to give the Actor’s Guild what they want) I’ve decided to start pitching my movie ideas to Hollywood again. Everybody knows the last few batches were conceptual gold and are just itching to Read more
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The answer is me, obviously. It’d be really weird if I said “My Grandma” and then put her thoughts below. But also maybe funny in its own way? Anyway, if you’re disappointed that that’s not the thing I’m doing, then I’m sorry. But yeah, I just watched all the Fast & Furious movies. I’d never Read more
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I recently wrote three short stories for a class and really enjoyed writing them, so I thought I’d post them here. This is the second story. Enjoy! Substitute Fish “The less you talk to me, the more I like you.” That partial recollection of vague quotation had been rolling through Walter’s mind a lot recently. Read more
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This past semester, I wrote three short stories for a writing class. I enjoyed doing it and I thought I’d share some of them on the blog. Sorry for the delay on my review of the Fast & Furious movies. I went on strike like all the other writers, and then I remembered that nobody Read more
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Hi. Hello. Just a quick disclaimer. As I said above, I will be ranting about The Flash, as I most likely have done before in small doses. But I wanted to clarify which The Flash I plan to complain about. I will not be yelling about The Flash, the 2023 movie starring (Notoriously garbage person)Ezra Read more
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Last year I reviewed all the 2021 movies I’d seen. I had watched about 48. This year, I’m not only behind on posting, I watched 53 movies that came out in 2022 before the year ended, and now I’ve seen about 65. This wasn’t at all purposeful. I don’t want to watch too many movies Read more
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Not sure if this story is interesting or not but it’s a weird experience and I felt it warranted mentioning. Also you don’t have to read it. You could go read a different blog, or write your own post. Let me live my life! Anyway. Before… Back when COVID-19 initially became a major inconvenience, I Read more
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I’ve decided to continue my weird, time-honored tradition of posting at least five brilliant movie ideas every three months. I’m not sure how much of a tradition it is because this is only my third time doing it. And is it really a tradition or is it just a pattern? How many times do you Read more
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I think I’ve mentioned before that I’m a little obsessed with comic books and comic book movies in general. They’re a pretty big part of my life, and they always have been. I’m sure I’ve said this before, but I know more about the worlds of Marvel and DC comics than I know about current Read more
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DISCLAIMER: This post was written one week before I plan on posting it, so by the time this is published I will no longer be in quarantine and I will have rejoined the real world. Just wanted to make that clear so as to dissuade any worries. So a few months ago I made a Read more
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Charlie had been staring at his computer screen for exactly one hour, forty-three minutes and seventeen seconds. In this time he had averaged two blinks every thirty minutes, and had only turned away from the computer three and a half times. Two of those times were so he could flip the novelty hourglass he kept Read more
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Today’s my day off! I could try and rope someone into taking me to Grand Marais, but I’d much rather sit around and do nothing. But I also wanted to write a blog post. And since I’m doing nothing, I’m going to write about nothing. Real stream of consciousness shit. Completely different from my other Read more
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I wanted to start writing short stupid stories in different formats. And this week I decided to write my own fairy tale. It’s not like we have any good new fairy tales, right? It’s all pigs and wolves and shoes and beanstalks and other crap. Let’s get some new blood in there. I’m sick of Read more
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For many reasons that don’t really make sense, I chose to spend my summer working at a summer camp that sends campers out on canoe portaging trips in the Boundary Waters. Despite the fact that it isn’t something I would normally do, I’ve been having a pretty good time so far. I just returned from Read more
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About three months ago I decided that the best way to break into Hollywood was to tell them my ideas directly. That way they could come to me and option all my excellent movie ideas. But for some reason, nobody ever contacted me about any of my pitches. I’ve thought long and hard about why Read more
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I’m not the first person to point out how unrealistic some songs can be. You could go on Spotify right now and listen to over a thousand different songs about getting drunk and partying and having the best day of your life. Now I’ve never gotten drunk myself, but from what I’ve heard from people Read more
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A few months ago I was at work during an extremely short campus-wide power outage. It was probably about five seconds long. But I kept saying to everyone how I wished I had been in the elevator when it happened. How that would be such a great story to have. Everyone looked at me like Read more
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It feels as if the ground is buckling under me with each slippery step. The unforgiving concrete has been coated with what must have once been a fine white powder. But now the thick paste surrounding my soaking feet looks a lot more like day-old excrement. No matter how far up the hill I seem Read more
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Welcome to my fiftieth blog post!!! I did it! Yaaaaaaaaay. Thank you to everyone who has read my posts so far. And no thank you if you aren’t reading my blog. I can definitively say that if you’ve never read my blog then you aren’t my friend and I don’t like you. Because you aren’t Read more
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Full spoilers for this full review of this bad movie that I love! About five months ago I attempted to rewatch my favorite/least favorite movie, Space Jam: A New Legacy. My plan was to provide 115 thoughts I had while watching it, because this movie is 115 minutes long. But the awesomeness that is this Read more
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Because I’m a known comic book fan I’ve been asked many times which superpower I would want to have. It’s an interesting question that I’ve thought about a lot, but I’ve never really come up with a definitive answer. Lately all the answers I can think of are mostly negative self-deprecative ideas that would inevitably Read more
Too Many Servings of John 